It is now or Never
by LauraCullen19
Summary: Edward left Bella in NM and never returned. 10 years later, Bella writes a letter to Edward and the Cullen's, With Some news, both good and bad. Maybe Lemon! Who knows.. Rated M. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, Stephanie Meyers Has that pleasure. x
1. Edward

**Edwards POV**

I look Down at the pieces of paper lying in my hands. I instantly recognised the hand writing...Bella...My Bella...

I pause a few moments, dreading the hate that i may see written on the sheets...

_Edward Cullen..Hurry up and read the letter dumbass, what are you waiting for? this is BELLA! _urgh.. thanks Alice.

_Son, Do What you feel is right.._ Carlisle. Always level headed, just what i needed.

_Oh My God... Bella Wrote me and Emmett a seperate letter? I wonder why.. Shit, Edward can hear me, erm...Let's have_

_some fun this beat is sick..._ Too late, I heard Rosalie. I will sort that out later.

I nervously fumbled open the folded paper and read the words of my angel..

"Edward..

I never thought I would be doing this, writing to you.

But There Is Something I Need To Tell You.

I'm terminally ill. I Have breast cancer, apparantly it's hereditory, yet the gene skipped through Renee.

There was some changes when you..left.

It all starts here. It felt like I was in a pit of darkness when you all left..

I dont want to make this hard for you to read, so i wont elaborate on my behaviour,

but charlie disowned me for it. I'm not upset, I dont blame him. He was right to do so.

I Dropped out of school shortly after we..broke up. I did try to keep up with studies,

I wanted to become an interior designer. i was inspired by Esme.

It all happened when I went off the rails, about a month after ..you left,

Mike Newton's parents were out of town and we threw a house party. Everyone was drinking so I did too.

Whether It was the alcohol or the cocaine, I was'nt myself. I met some lads from the college in Port Angeles,

they seemed nice, so I had faith when one offered to walk me home.

I wont divulge on the details, but im ashamed of what happened. His name is Lucas Newton, Mikes brother.

He didnt understand why I didnt want to sleep with him at the party, but he didnt moan about it, until the walk home.

I was weak and vulnerable yet I tried to fight back, attempt to stop it. My attempts made it worse.

All I remember waking up to Jake carrying me the rest of the way home. Jake was my best friend, Jacob Black.

8 months later I prematurely gave birth in Port Angeles ER. I hemoraged and lost a lot of, erm, blood. Im lucky I survived

to see my beautiful baby boy. He weighed 6 pounds 11 ounces. He had pale skin like me, and beautiful brown eyes.

What shocked me the most was he didnt have my dull hair colour or his biological fathers blonde. Instead, small tufty

bronze hair framed his face. I nearly stopped breathing, it reminded me so much of you. So i named him Masen;

after your human surname. He is 9 years old now, and is very much into toy cars, and climbing trees. Much to my

discouragement. He is no clumsy human like me. Yes rumours spread round that he was your child, it hurt

to hear this trivial gossip. It hurt to hear your name being mentioned without it being true. Without you here.

Lucas, Masens "Dad" died two months after Masen was born. my dad was arresting him for drink driving- typical.

I never had anything to do with him anyways, I hate him with all passion in my empty heart. When his enemy from

New York came into town, there was fire of several rounds, as he attempted to kill Lucas.

One hit Lucas in the head, two hit my Dad in the neck and the face. My world collapsed around me again. Jacob, my best

friend helped me raise Masen, until the age of 8. Last year Jake imprinted. Yeah, Jake is a werewolf of the Quileute tribe in La Push.

Jake never hurt me or Masen physically, but the imprint sent me into depression. Masen kept me strong, each and every day he

tells me he loves me, and he loves thestories i make up to him about the boy who never grows old..not Peter Pan, more like Edward Cullen.

I still wish i could see you one last time. Thats me being selfish. I have never stopped loving you, if anything my love has grown stronger.

I love you so much that I'm happy you may have a girlfriend wife or even your own coven/family.

Which brings me to my final point, the one that triggered this letter to you.

I have lived in seattle now for 6 years, 5 of which I have owned a make over studio- I work a lot with the under priveleged children

and single parents in the city In spare time also, collecting clothes for the community. Making them feel special.

The volunteers who work for me handed out flyers in every mall asking kindly for clothing donations of any size or style, with the address of my office.

I looked out of the window to see a red BMW pull up to the curb and a blonde women step out. To my shock it was Rosalie And Emmett.

Rosalie gave my assistant loads of designer labels, some worth thousands. I sold these clothes and invested the money in a scheme to help still born children

and their families. Please tell her that although we did'nt see eye to eye, I love her as if she was a sister, and I am really greatfull for her

generosity.

Before jake imprinted we got drunk on his birthday. Masen was at his play mates house for the evening. I'm not ashamed however disapointed in myself, me and

Jake had a one night stand. I fell pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl 9 months later, 2 months after Jake imprinted, and left me.

I had found out we were having a girl and I was adamant we were naming her Rosalie Alice black. It pains me to write this but she was still born, the doctors tried everything but it was too late. I lost my baby girl before i had chance to hold her in my arms.

i Have about a month left before the doctors say I'm going to pass. And I promised myself before I left this earth, to remind you that you were my first,

my last, my only love. How I wished everyday to wake up to your mesmerising golden eyes, how I wished you were there to see Masen dress up

as dracula in the school play, it was so funny Edward, Emmett would have a field day. I knew you two would have been like best friends, so alike.

He found the picture of you and me in the trees in forks, he was shocked how high you could climb, with me on on your back aswell.

He tries so hard to get high, it worries me sick.

So here we are ten years later, i never thought i would be trying to contact you, i feared that it

would disrupt your new lift without me.

I just wanted to tell you i never meant to cause you and your family harm, i loved

you all so much, and I understand now that there is no place for a human in a vampire family.

If anything i just wished that i was able to say goodbye to you all properly. So here is my goodbye to you all.

Goodbye Alice, I love fashion now. I know :) I hope in heaven/hell they have a mall, and a sister like you... god I will miss you! Love You. X

Goodbye Jasper, I don't blame you for the incident, you had to feel everyone elses bloodlust too. I'm sorry, I'm clumsy Bella. Love You X

Goodbye Carlisle, you were truly like a father to me, I appreciate all the times you looked after clumsy old me. So caring. Love You X

Goodbye Esme, So Kind and loving. You gave me hope, that life goes on even when you lose a child, you will always be a mother to me. Love You X

Goodbye Emmett, Big Bro! I miss your bear hugs, I hope I'm still your favourite human! I will definately miss you. Love You X

Goodbye Rosalie..Thank you. For always being honest. I do Have a letter seperate for you and Emmett. Love You X

Edward.

I love you Edward Cullen. I understand that this is goodbye, therefore I wont enclose my return address.

i would say I will love you forever, but I'm human, so there is no such thing.

I will say I loved you, I do love you, and I will continue loving you, until my last breath.

Isabella Marie Swan

xXx

P.s Masen blows you all a kiss each. x x x x x x x"

"Bella..." I groaned.. _My beautiful darling bella. My Love...what am I going to do? What If I'm too late.. wait what?_

I was Interupted of my thoughts by Alices.. _I seen you toy between decisions edward...do as your heart tells you to..before you say, you do have a heart..._her thoughts swirled into a memory of a vision of Bella and I, sat next each other in our meadow. She told me I had a soul..And I Still Had a heart, irrelevant whether it beats or not...

"My Love..." And with that I ran out the house to go hunt.


	2. Divorce

**Rosalie's POV**

I came home from dropping my third and last donation off. I admit I didn't throw away my prized pieces, although the cause was worthy, to families, children.

How I longed to have a child of my own, my one and only ambition was to have a large family of my own in my human life, much to my disappointment Carlisle changed me.

I am no longer a real woman. I'm just a shell, a shell with a horrible monster behind this facade of my beauty. I was a vampire. As everyone in the family knows, I resent this life, yet we make the most of what we can, so I concentrate on my other human trait. The need to be idolised for my beauty. I know its shallow, but it's in my nature.

"Rose! Can you get my sunglasses out of the glove compartment? I'm feeling the need to look famous today!" My idiotic yet loveable husband shouted to me.

"Get them yourself Emmett I need to sort out an outfit for tonight, I only have 4 hours to get ready! Alice you ready to make me over?" There was no need to shout the way Emmett did, we vampires have supernatural hearing, I would only have to whisper from the beginning of the driveway and they would hear me clearly.

Alice sprung from the deck on the 1st floor of our Seattle property. I don't know why I say property; I always refer our mansion in forks as our home.

"Rosalie I have seen what you have decided to wear, I have the perfect shoes you can wear." Alice shrieked. I smiled graciously. _Alice is always excited when it comes to fashion and beauty. She is like a true sister...Unlike Bella. ahhh Bella, the poor defenceless human... she was merely average in looks, but not overly pretty, for a human she was normal. she lacked the fashion taste that we Cullen's enjoy and uphold...shit sorry Edward I know it's hard for you to hear her name...I'm really sorry, i don't mean to sound a bitch...you know what I'm like_...

I waltzed into the living room shortly followed by a confused looking Emmett.

"Haha what's wrong, you look confused" _huh maybe he looked in the mirror and thought he had a twin_ Edward looked up for the first time since I had arrived back at the house, and sort of smiled then frowned. _Sorry again Eddie boy, I'm only joking I love him. Kind of. Just not more than the best pair of shoes I own. The dolce 4inch heel with peep toe! ahh gorgeous pair..._

Again, Edward frowned. He didn't approve much of mine and Emmett's current state of relationship. The past 8 years Emmett has been pretty distant. We never... Well we never had sex anymore, and our relationship was solid when it came to that area. I felt bad Edward had to hear all the snide comments we make about each other in our thoughts. Things have been looking bad lately. He clearly didn't appreciate how shallow I actually am.

"Umm, no I just found a letter in the glove compartment... It's for you Edward."

"I'm in no mood for junk mail Emmett, it's probably another promotion for the bar in town or a reminder from Tanya that she wants me..." after saying that Edward shuddered, obviously at the thought of Tanya. _Hell I would shudder too if I had that sorry state after my body..._ Edward cracked a small smile.

_Nice to see you smiling Eddie- boy_

"Don't call me that Rosalie, it's so annoying" he didn't even glance at me. He continued to stare at, well, nothing. Loser.

S_orry...Eddie boy_

"Umm sorry to interrupt you guys but its hand written, and has no address, just a name. It may be important brother" Emmett mumbled. This was unlike Emmett, wait, was he hiding another letter behind his back? Sneaky bastard. Bet he is seeing another woman behind my back. My thoughts were replaying Lady Gaga's song love games. Damn I love that song, and Edward hates it when I sing it in thoughts, he always knows I'm hiding my true thoughts. Oh well their thoughts not his!

Edward grabbed the letter out of Emmett's hands and sat back down on the couch, looking at the envelope. Sod this, I'm bored of Edwards emotional train ride, I grabbed Emmett and dragged him upstairs.

_It's an envelope, it doesn't open itself, tear it open retard_ I thought to Edward, as I guided Emmett to his own room the other side of the mansion. Ahh, why did it come to this, separate rooms. Once the door was shut I hissed lowly to Emmett so there were little possibility the others could hear us.

"What the hell are you hiding?" he shifted on his feet, was he nervous?

"Umm, it's a letter addressed to me, and you." he glanced up and looked into my eyes for the first time in months. The spark was not there like it used to be. It hasn't been there for ten years, since we left Forks to be precise, so I wasn't surprised that it, yet again, wasn't there.

"Emmett...are, are these divorce papers?" I whispered in shock...

"No, Rose, but I'm freaked out" "what the hell Emmett? We are vampires, why on earth are you freaked out over a stupid letter"

I whisper shouted at him. A moment of silence passed and he broke our gaze, looked down at the letter and passed it to me. It was a plain envelope, with our names written in a swirly feminine handwriting, no address, and no return sender, what the hell did we have a stalker? How did it get into the glove compartment?

"Rosalie...I recognise the style my name is spelt in ...Its Bella's handwriting..." He sighed...Pain flushed over his eyes... poor Emmett...he really truly missed the human...pathetic.

Then it registered...Bella contacted us. Personally.

_Oh My God...Bella wrote me and Emmett a separate letter? I wonder why...Shit, Edward can hear me, erm...Let's have some fun this beat is sick..._That will hopefully cover it. If not then there may be a family meeting. Even Though I can't physically sleep, they can reduce me to utter boredom that I wished I had to sleep as an excuse to leave.

Yet I still remained stood in shock, I was slightly angered, and what on earth did she want...why was Emmett acting like this. Whatever. I carried on singing love games, when I began to open the letter.

Out of the envelope fell a photograph.


	3. Bella

**Edwards POV (before the letter) **

Huh... Rosalie and Emmett are having a tough time. I just wished Emmett stopped thinking about playing halo with...Bella. Bear hugging Bella...feeding Bella human food.

It kills me inside. He is not the only one who thinks of Bella as well. What have I done, I am such an ass hole. I left the one girl who will hold my heart and soul forever.

Yes, I had changed my outlook on the soul issue. It was not only after I left Bella that I realised the emptiness in the pit of my non functioning stomach. My soul was missing, my soul was Bella. I lived, if you may call it that, for Bella, my Bella. My love...I continued to stare at nothing. Nothing interested me anymore. I couldn't bear playing the piano, in fear that I may play Bella's lullaby...too many time have I attempted to run to the Volturi, to ask to be killed. Yet Pixie saw my decision and the family held me back. I could not live without Bella. Alice stopped seeing visions of Bella 1 month after I had left her, the last vision she saw was of Bella crying on the side of the street. Then it went Black. It happened too quickly for anyone to do anything. We rang Charlie yet there was no answer. We realised it was early morning in Forks. Alice continued to search for her future. Yet nothing returned in our favour. Alice had two visions of Charlie shortly after Bella's final future vision. Charlie sat in Bella's room, crying, looking at a photo of Bella before prom. The final vision of Charlie was him being shot by some thug whilst pinning a drunken lunatic to the police car. Our worst fears were undeniably confirmed. Bella was dead.

Rosalie was thinking back to her human years, as she does once in a while. I understand it pains her, you can see it physically torturing her eyes, wanting to cry so badly yet not being able to.

I vaguely heard my sisters outside discussing getting ready for tonight. Urgh. Great. I chose not to listen to them, even though it was hard not to with our high level of hearing. Tonight we were going to a show in Seattle. No one bar Alice's knows what to come of it. As always Alice is shielding her thoughts from me by thinking of giving me a makeover. Great.

That was when I heard the most mind destroying comment from no other than Rosalie.

_Alice is always excited when it comes to fashion and beauty. She is like a true sister...Unlike Bella. Ahhh Bella, the poor defenceless human... she was merely average in looks, but not overly pretty, for a human she was normal. she lacked the fashion taste that we Cullen's enjoy and uphold...shit sorry Edward I know it's hard for you to hear her name...I'm really sorry, I don't mean to sound a bitch...you know what I'm like..._

She was right about fashion, Bella had no interest in material possessions, a trait that although I tried to falter by trying to buy her gifts, it was a trait I admired. Bella was strong minded. Bella was...Bella. I hitched in an un-necessary breath as I heard Bella's name resound in my mind. It tortured me, the pain ravaged my body, if I didn't know I was already a vampire, I would think I was being turned again. The pain diminished...As I grew anger towards Rosalie's comments...Bella loved Rosalie, she told me so herself, despite Rosalie's lack of kindness towards Bella. And there is Rosalie saying Bella was not a sister...I noticed in my reflection my eyes had gone a dark shade of brown, almost black, signalling my angst against Rosalie.

Jasper walked around the sofa and sat next to me.

_Keep calm my brother, Rosalie's emotions are all over the place at the moment..She is not clear headed. I am sure I can already sense guilt reeling off of her. _I turned and smiled at my brother. I returned to starting at nothing, catching my reflexion, my eyes had returned to the golden colour they usually were.

Rosalie waltzed into the living room shortly followed by a confused looking Emmett.

Emmett's mind was blank, as if he was just thinking of a never ending black wall. Poor brother.

"Ha-ha what's wrong, you look confused" Rosalie chanted at him. _Huh maybe he looked in the mirror and thought he had a twin_

I looked up for the first time since she had arrived back at the house; I sort of smiled then frowned. However I found the joke slightly amusing, and so would Emmett if he was in the right mood, But I did not like Rosalie's attitude lately.

_Sorry again Eddie boy, I'm only joking I love him. Kind of. Just not more than the best pair of shoes I own. The dolce 4inch heel with peep toe! Ahh gorgeous pair..._

I frowned again. I took a serious dislike to the meaner Rosalie, I understood that she and Emmett were having problems, but she was fully aware that I could read her mind yet she continued to belittle my brother in her mind.

"Umm, no I just found a letter in the glove compartment... It's for you Edward." Emmett mumbled.

"I'm in no mood for junk mail Emmett; it's probably another promotion for the bar in town or a reminder from Tanya that she wants me..." I replied nonchalantly. The thought of Tanya's constant advances made me shudder. _Hell I would shudder too if I had that sorry state after my body..._ I had to crack a small smile at Rosalie's more cheerful humour.

_Nice to see you smiling Eddie- boy _she sang in her thoughts. I hate that nickname.

"Don't call me that Rosalie, it's so annoying" I was literally speaking to the wall that my gaze remained upon.

_Sorry...Eddie boy. _Shut up Rosalie I added mentally.

"Umm sorry to interrupt you guys but its hand written, and has no address, just a name. It may be important brother" Emmett mumbled. This was unlike Emmett, Emmett was full of confidence, always looking for the next prank, he wanted to look like a celebrity not even 5 minutes ago! What with the sudden change?

_let's play a love game play a love game do you want love do you want love are you in a love game, domle love game _Rosalie was hiding something. That wasn't unusual.

_Emmett's emotions are all over the shot Edward, happiness mixed with sadness and loss... and a little tinge of anxious with excitement...what are his thoughts?_ Jasper mentally informed me. I focused on Emmett's thoughts. He was thinking about Forks, about how he missed ...Bella. He looked at me anxiously then the thoughts just spilled out.

_Dude this letter is fucking important. Its Bella's handwriting!_

I shot up grabbed the letter out of Emmett's hands and sat back down on the couch, looking at the envelope. _Sod this, I'm bored of Edwards emotional train ride _Rosalie sneered and grabbed Emmett and dragged him upstairs.

_It's an envelope, it doesn't open itself, tear it open retard _was Rosalie's final thought as she made her way to the other side of our mansion.

I flipped the envelope over and true to his thoughts Emmett was right. There scrawled out on the plain envelope was "Mr. Edward Cullen" with a really small heart drawn below. If my heart could beat, it would have jumped out of chest.

"Bella..." I cried out.

Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper surrounded me, thinking I was about to run for the Volturi again.

"The letter is from Bella..."

Everyone gasped, their faces plastered in shock and pain...even Alice's. How did she not see this coming?

_AN _: I have re read this plenty of times over the past 2 days, just wanted it to be perfect for you guys! But just couldn't wait any longer to post it up.

Read and Review...It makes me smile =] x


	4. Proud

**Rosalie's POV**

I noticed that a photograph had fallen out of the envelope, yet I turned my attention quickly to read the letter...

"Rosalie.

I now realise why you disagreed with me wanting to be a vampire. I have lived so much the past 10 years, and I have a son. He is called Masen Swan. He has pale skin, deep brown wide eyes, and messy bronze hair.

I enclose a picture of Masen and I.

I now remember a comment you made in passing whilst I was encouraging Edward to change me... "You will never be alive; you will never be a mother."

I am now aware of how much you, Alice and Esme are missing. Please don't take this the wrong way, I am not rubbing salt into wounds.

I am thanking you for being honest, and fighting not for my hopes and dreams, but for my reality, for my actual life.

That is what made me realise that you are, in a way, a true sister to me. Even though it's not through relations, or through your brother, a sister to me is a friend who will be honest caring and there for you. I understand that fighting against James wasn't your best interest, yet you did defend me.

It was 3 years ago when I saw you. You were in your red BMW convertible, with Emmett in the passenger. My heart nearly exploded, I never thought I would see any Cullen ever again.

I was more surprised when you generously donated to the charity I set up to help families and children...and I am elated with happiness that you have done the same for the past 3 years. 3 large donations. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I will admit, I never thought you would have done such a selfless act.

If you are reading this then my plan worked, whilst you were signing release papers for the donation with my assistant, I snuck down to the street and slipped these letters into your glove compartment, in hope that you may find them one day. I had only written these a few days ago, I presumed you would donate 2 days before the charity fashion show, like you have done the 2 times before. Lucky enough the roof was down, I didn't mean to be deceiving or sneaky. I knew it was the only way to get these letters to you all.

Rosalie, I'm ill. I have about a month left to live. I can happily say I have enjoyed my time here on earth; even if it has been a tough time. It is time for me to go.

Please also read Edward's letter, I treasured your ambition to make a family, and I had planned on naming my daughter after you.

Please read Edward's other letter, it will hurt too much to repeat what happened...

I don't want to leave Masen. I love him so much; he is my reason to breathe. I have always loved Emmett, he is a big brother to me, protective fun and he even showed his caring side once or twice. And I know you would be a great mother. It was last year when Jake left and before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, that I knew I may not always be around for him. I had registered you both, Rosalie McCarty and Emmett McCarty as Masen's legal guardians. I'm only guessing your surnames at this point in time; I don't know which surname you love birds are using at the moment.

Please, don't freak out, I trust you both with his life, just as I did with mine. He knows all about you, well all but the vampire issue. Yet he has met one before. This was incidental, not planned. He loves you both as Uncle Emmett and Aunty Rosalie, as I still regard you as siblings. I have explained to him that you will never age; he thinks it is cool, and isn't freaked out about it. He protested that no one will ever replace mummy and daddy, but he said you two are great and would love you no matter what you decided to do.

I completely understand if you do not want this responsibility. And who am I to just turn up and say look after my child? I have no one else. Charlie's dead, Lucas; Masen's biological father is dead and Jake has imprinted and moved to California, too close to Lucas' parents, who hate Masen for no apparent reason. Renée is travelling the world, so that is unsuitable. Yet you are not my last resort, in fact you came to mind as soon as I thought of my sons future without me. It was acting on a whim, on my instincts. When I pass on; Masen will be residing at 11 Oaks Children's Home, on the outskirts of Seattle. He used to play there while I held meetings with the mothers; he has taken to the surroundings well. He understands that I will be gone soon. If you choose to even just see him, then you will be able to. I showed him pictures of the family. He says you are very beautiful, and that Emmett looks like a muscled superhero, "super mett" he joked.

It pains me to think it will all be just a memory soon.

I am going to miss him so much.

Thank you for everything...

.

Love

Isabella Marie Swan

X

I stood fixed to the spot after reading Bella's letter. Emmett, who had been reading the letter over my shoulder, ran out of the house through the large window shattering glass everywhere.

My mind was racing...

I picked up the photograph, my eyes still fixed to the letter in my hand. I folded and pocketed the letter in my jeans. I then turned to look at the photograph. Nonexistent tears filled my eyes, which angered me, due to the fact they will never fall. The photo was taken at a beach. Sat on the beach was Bella, in her arms was a young boy with a bucket and spade in hand, smiling widely at the camera. Bella had a smile on her face yet she looked pained, she looked paler than I ever remembered of her. It then clicked; it was evident that she was ill when this was taken. Her wide brown eyes had bags underneath, her hair falling effortlessly around her shoulders. She looked so worn out, yet she was glowing. She was glowing because of motherhood. Masen was more adorable than she had explained. I suppose words cannot do him justice. He had his mothers eyes, and a round face, I suppose he was still too young to grow into his features. His hair, looked so much like Edward's; Bronze and messy, also full of sand. I let out a small dry sob; my handsome nephew was beaming right through the picture at me. I then realised that my slow reaction to Emmett's departure would cause suspicion downstairs with the family. I pocketed the photo, but not before I smiled. "Bella I am sorry. You truly are gorgeous. You suit being a mom" I faintly whispered, knowing well that I would not be heard.

I raced downstairs to find the rest of the family there, minus Edward and Emmett. Edward had gone out to hunt to be alone, and I guessed that would be where Emmett had gone also. Alice couldn't see a definitive future for Emmett as he hadn't made his mind up on what to do,

And neither could I. my mind was full of questions. I knew I had to see Bella, but I didn't plan to. I didn't want my pixie sister to catch hold of my plans. I would make a split decision and fool her. I decided that I should wait until they were back before initiating the talk about the revelations of Bella's letters. Jasper looked over to me, and looked very confused. "Rosalie, you are feeling proud; and not in yourself?" It was more questioning than a statement. Jasper knew full well not to doubt the emotions he was feeling. I realised this was a first for Jasper to feel from me. I smiled. It was true. I was proud of someone else. I was proud of Isabella Swan.

**Authors Note: Please Read and Review. It makes me smile =] x**


	5. Alpha

**Edwards POV**

I had to get out of the house, I decided to hunt so that Alice didn't question where I was going. Alice thoughts were ticking over, as she was worried as Emmett's future disappeared suddenly.

I ran to Forks, to mine and Bella's meadow. It didn't take long with my speed.

Before emerging through the trees I took an unnecessary breath. I walked through the foliage and it was beautiful. Just as I remembered. Yet it was missing its key feature. Bella.

I lay in the centre, looking up at the darkening sky. It was twilight, the safest time for our kind.

Bella had such a hectic happening life after I left. Tears formed in my eyes, refusing to fall.

My Bella was violated. Her virtue was taken from her. By that monster. I remember Bella telling me I wasn't a monster; that a monster who intended to ruin people's lives. He ruined Bella's. Yet she had a son. A son; who by the sounds of things, was like me. How I wished I was human, I would never have to leave; never worry for Bella's safety. Masen could be my son. My mind was racing. Jacob Black, He always hated me, for what I was. No doubt now he would hate me for what I had done to Bella.

I was pondering over Bella's and Jacob's relationship. Had they been together? Jealousy began to over rule me. The thought of Bella and that; that dog, made me furious. He had saved Bella, he looked after Bella, cared for Bella and Masen. I could not hate him. Yes I could resent that he had the privelege, but hate him I could not. I owed him my all. He was the reason my Bella lived on.

An hour later after a lot of thinking I ran to the treaty line, in hope that one of the dogs would smell my return.

_Everyone, I smell a bloodsucker. 100 yards east, 10 yards behind the treaty line. wait, it's familiar. It's a Cullen. Calm down Quil, they mean no harm. Unless they have broken the treaty..._

I was met by Sam, the Alpha of the pack. He was In wolf form as they normally are whilst patrolling. I nodded as a small welcome gesture. My family and the pack may have a treaty, however we were not on a friendly basis.

"I can assure you that we have not broken to treaty Sam." I was the first to speak. He disappeared behind the tree in wolf form, and returned in his human form.

"Edward" He nodded. "What does your return entail?" He questioned. Sam did not look happy to see me; he folded his arms across his chest and stood proud.

"I wished to speak with you, if I may, about Bella" I cut the formalities; just as Sam did. I was not Carlisle, pleasantries were not needed here.

_Poor Bella...what a mess she was when I found her...Curled up in a ball on the woods floor, cold, shivering, eyes red raw, sticky tears dried her face..._

"You found Bella, in the woods?" I gasped at the memory Sam had just replayed in his mind. _Why did I take her to the woods to talk..._

"Yes. And I can't believe you left her in that sorry state. Disgusting. Leaving her in the woods, whilst Victoria was nearby to kill her?" Sam shouted.

"Victoria?" I quizzed, Alice didn't see her coming, we would have never left if we knew she was near by...

"Don't worry Cullen, we killed that little bloodsucker, and her friend with the dreads got away; not with losing a limb though. He has not returned in 10 years, and Bella assures us that she hasn't seen him. We have positioned one of our pack with her ever since you left, in case of an attack of a low life creature like you." His words were like daggers shooting through me.

"Alice didn't see any attacks on Bella, yet Bella's future is blank and has been since she was found on the side of the road by one of your pack..what does this mean?"

_Haha, the bloodsucker hadn't guessed why. I best tell him. It is only fair we rub our advantage in front of him_

"Your precious little pixie sister can't see us, so when we are near Bella, Bella's future will disappear. We have been close to Bella constantly, literally since your departure. That is why her future is, lost you may say." Sam Smirked impressed with the fact that they were immune from our otherwise advantage.

_Huh, Alice can't see the future with them mutts around. Makes sense, they are out mortal enemies._

"How could you be so selfish? So heartless? We thought Bella was dead!" I shouted at him, I was enraged now. "What gave you all the right to fuck with Bella's future, making us think she was dead?" I shouted at him. He did not flinch.

"You did not see the state Bella was in when your pathetic excuse for a coven left; she was dead; dead inside. She would wake Charlie up at night with screams, she then jumped of La Push cliff, an attempt to kill herself we think, However Jake claimed it was cliff diving. Jake wasn't there, so she chose the wrong cliff. She partied, and filled herself up with so much shit like cocaine alcohol and heroin. We didn't know why. Bella said it was the only way to get rid of the pain. The pain of you leaving used to constantly replay in her mind. She was disowned by Charlie; she moved in with Billy and Jake down on the reservation with the rest of us. She was raped and fell pregnant. Bella raised her child with Jake. They were happy. They were best friends. Jake wanted more yet we reminded him that she had been broken before, and if he ever imprinted whilst in a relationship with her it would ruin her. "

This was a lot of information to take in, even though I had known the majority of it already due to Bella's letters._ Why didn't Bella mention the cliff diving to me?_

"That is a lot to take in, yet I thank you. But it has came to my attention that Jacob did in fact imprint and left Bella and her son." I questioned.

"Yes, yes that is true." He yawned. Clearly this conversation was boring him.

"How did Bella cope?" I probed for more information.

_Pfft as if that leech cares! He left her as good as dead in the woods for Christ sake, in the vicinity of a pair of red eyes that were seeking her revenge!_

"I can read your thoughts Sam" I muttered to him.

"Yes, and I wanted you to hear that. And hear this. Bella and Jake were dependent upon each other for happiness. Jake in the form of a possible relationship. Bella wanted a friend. Leaving Bella was Jake's hardest decision to date. He still works himself up over it. I hear his thoughts on the matter. It was not easy for him" Sam replied.

"I hate to repeat myself. How. Did. Bella. Cope." I hissed through gritted teeth. I was pissed, he was keeping something from me.

"Don't you dare speak to me that way, you fucking leech!" He was shaking in anger. I knew if he didn't calm himself he would phase then and there.

"I do not want any trouble. I love Bella. I just need to know how she coped" I semi- pleaded.

"Bella was depressed to say the least. Not because he imprinted; she was really happy for him. But Jake imprinted whilst she was 7 months pregnant, and she feared she would be alone to raise 2 children. The thought of someone leaving..." He paused "Again" Sneering at me referencing to my departure as the previous one... "Sent her into a downward spiral. The pack at La Push helped Bella as she returned to stay for a while, she soon sorted herself out, for Masen's sake and the health of the baby. Bella lost her's and Jake's child. Bella remained strong though" Sam exhaled.

"Thank you. That is all." As I went to turn away Sam's thoughts evaded my mind.

_It is not...don't lie to me bloodsucker or I will tear you limb from-_

"I see you sensed there was more-" I interrupted his thoughts.

"Spit it out Cullen" I was Interrupted also. Sam was agitated to say the least. I did plan to wait for Carlisle to return with me before raising the second issue.

_God this leech is pissing me off. I could be home by now with my darling pregnant Emily_.

"Congratulations" I said.

"Stay out of my head leech, and get the hell on with it" Sam shouted.

"May I propose we amend the treaty" I said matter of factly..

" Haha...And in what way Cullen? You are speaking to the wrong wolf. I am no longer Alpha" Sam remarked bluntly, sneering as he said Cullen.

"Wait, What? who is Alpha?" I smelt a presence of two or more dogs. I read their minds, they were no threat; Just curious. There was a short period of silence. I heard movement in the bushe's behind the trees.

"Jacob Black, Alpha at your service..." as Jacob appeared in human form; smirking, from behind a tree.

**_PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW FOR ME! OTHERWISE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS LIKE THE STORY :(_**

**_love _**

**_LC.x_**


	6. You don't want me?

**Bella POV**

I returned home that evening after hiding the letters in Rosalie's BMW.

My gut wrenched. Should I have done that? What if they are annoyed I contacted them?

I told Edward I loved him. I do. Do I? But things will never be the same again. I will always love him. I just hope I didn't anger the family. I really miss Emmett; I know he would never have wanted to leave. Alice, her departure, besides Edward's, hurt the most.

She was my best friend. Emphasis on was. Carlisle and Esme were like parents to me, and they upped and left without a goodbye. Years I have sat thinking of what I had done to make them disown me. It dawned on me, after all this time. I was just a distraction for Edward. He told me when he was breaking up with me that his kind gets distracted, and that was how he would diminish his memory of me. I should have thought this through, the more and more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I was upset in an angry way. I should have never put Rosalie down as a guardian, or Emmett. What on earth was I thinking? They didn't want me! But this isn't about me, it's about Masen. I mentally argued over this until I was interrupted.

"Chill out Bella, you wanted to say goodbye. You had a right to." My friend Libby said to me, knowing I was doubting my decision. Libby was the owner of the children's home I helped set up with the profit of Rosalie's donation. I sold my apartment in the city to live my last moments here with Masen, allowing him to settle in.

The past few days had been very exhausting, the doctors were correct when they predicted that my body would slowly exhaust itself out trying to fight off the cancer. My lungs wheezed as they were pressured, and my heart beat was lower than a healthy human. I sighed. As much as I wanted to stay and see Masen grow up, I knew it was time to go soon.

I lay back on the bed in my own room, looking up at the ceiling, gradually drifting into a heavy sleep.

_There were trees all around me, it was nearing night time. In front of me stood a beautiful pale man, with _

_Golden mesmerising eyes and messy bronze hair. it was my Edward. _

_"Bella we are leaving Forks" He said in a monotone voice. His face showing no sign of emotion_

_"Okay I'm going to have to tell Charlie-_

_"No Bella" he cut me off. His face still blank. What was going on? Then it clicked he was leaving me._

_"When I say we, I mean my family and I..." I trailed into a whisper... no. no he can't leave...no..._

_"Yo..You Don.. Don't wa... Want me? I stuttered..._

_"No" he sharply replied. So quick, as if he already knew the answer. He didn't want me._

_it felt like I was being dragged to the ground..._

I woke myself up screaming. It was 6pm, I always finish of the nightmare of Edward leaving, and it always ends when Sam finds me. Yet this time it stopped at when he said no. He didn't want me. This was my conscious telling me I shouldn't have written to him_. How could I be so stupid! He didn't want me then and no doubt he wouldn't want anything to do with me now._

I buried my head into the pillow, soaking it with my pathetic tears. _Get a grip Bella he left 10 years ago!_

"Mom, Libby has made us some lasagne for dinner. Coming downstairs?" Masen stood in the doorway, with his makeshift cape draped around his neck. I giggled and just like that all the pain was gone. Masen ran over to me and hugged me.

"Mom I love you. Even if dad left. I love you don't you love me?" his eyes looked troubled. I kissed him on the forehead.

"Sweetie don't you ever doubt how much I love you. You are the most important thing that's ever happened to me."

He paused and smiled. Then he pulled a face. "I hate dad for leaving you. He is an ass! " His hand shot in front of his mouth.

"Masen Jasper Swan mind your language!" I lectured him, and then giggled again. He probably picked it up off his "dad" Jake. Masen knew that he wasn't his real dad, but before the imprint Jake was always looking after Masen, and treat him as his own. Of course Masen thinks that I cry because Jake left. I never told him that the Edward Cullen was his mother's only love. It would only ever confuse him. I wasn't being secretive, I knew what was best for my son, and I know he will the take a disliking to the family for leaving. I could not turn my son against my old family. The ones I loved. Used to love.

"Bella... You have a visitor." Libby shifted in the door way, she looked uneasy, and very nervous. Who knew I lived here that actually wanted to see me?

I walked downstairs and opened the front door. I was in agony, my arms curled around my stomach as I was already looking down. I looked up, to be met with a set of golden eyes.

I couldn't believe my eyes. There stood in front of me, was a tall muscly man, pale skin and dark short hair. He was well built, over towering me in his size. I looked into his eyes again, they were so beautiful, yet pained, I followed my gaze down his features, to full sized lips, lightly stained with a hint of red.

Em...Emmett?" I stuttered. This was a dream; I hadn't woken up yet surely.

"Hey Bells..." He replied.


	7. Hurry up bloodsucker

**Jakes POV**

I waited for my cue; this blood sucker was going to suffer for what he did to my Bella. Sure I hurt her also but I couldn't help it. How I longed to ignore my imprint. Moving to California was the worst thing I have ever had to do. I have returned to la push. As much as I loved Claire, I could not stand California, or the long trips I had to take to see my son Masen.

I heard Edward ask who was Alpha so I phased and appeared from behind a tree. I looked a lot older than I did when The Cullen's left, Age wise I was 27, since I became Alpha due to lineage and finally stepping up to take on the role, and also imprinting, I allowed the others to continue the good work, I only gave orders these days. There was no need for much paroling. Hardly any bloodsuckers came by anymore. Therefore I began to age.

"Jacob black, Alpha at your service" I smirked. I remembered Edward could hear my thoughts, so I randomly thought of parts for the car I was rebuilding. No way was this bloodsucker going to get dirt on me.

His face was a picture! Haha he sure looked pissed at me.

"So...you want to alter the treaty Cullen?" I sighed. "Why would you want to do that?" I added sarcastically. I folded my arms across my chest. Edward shifted and He looked down, and back up again. He cleared his throat_. _

_Hurry up leech; I haven't got all day to be talking to you_

"A member of the family is not well and will no longer last as a human. My family and I do not want to lose her, as they are in our hearts and she is considered as family to us. Please, may we change her?"

Huh, so Edward found himself another little human to play with. How convenient. This would devastate Bella; he sure fucked with her mind. She never did get over it fully.

"The treaty clearly states that none of you Cullen's can bite a human, even if there are no intentions of sucking them dry" He winced as I repeated the treaty to him. I sighed. _Stupid leeches, surely they remember the main rule of the treaty. Why are they acting dumb for_?

"This is where we do not intend to break the treaty but to alter it, it is rather vague. Carlisle has suggested that we do not actually bite her, but inject venom into her bloodstream or place our teeth in an already broken wound. There will be no actual biting or withdrawal of their blood from us. Please, we can't let her go. Please" Damn, this guy has got it bad for the human. If only he ever loved Bella that way. Oh wait, good thing he never, I would have never got my chance with Bella. Bella, how would I feel if Bella had a chance like the Cullen's human has? I took this into consideration.

"This once I will over look your actions. If it is necessary you may bite if your technique does not work, however if you or any of your family come back with red eyes, then we will take action against you. And you must control your newborn bloodsucker."

He looked shocked to say the least; he was definitely trying to read my mind to see if we were joking. My thoughts remained true to my words.

"I understand your predicament. I too am in a similar position, where I fear I am about to lose a loved one. However in this circumstance I cannot do anything. Death is natural yet it's too soon..." My voice nearly broke, I had to turn around quickly, i did not want him to see the tears forming in my eyes.

_My beautiful Bella...If only there was a way to save her, so she can continue to live. I hate when she says it is her time to go..._

"Jacob..." Edward started to speak so I cut him off.

"Stop bloodsucker. I don't want you hearing my thoughts, and I do not want you knowing about my Bella! "

"Jacob, the human I proposed to change is Bella. I thought you knew of this? Who else would i want to change? Bella is my life! " He looked confused. "And what d you mean _your Bella_?" He looked angry. _Stupid bloodsucker has no right to be protective over her. He lost that privilege 10 fucking yeas ago._

"What? CULLEN YOU ARE NOT CHANGING MY BELLA! TREATY REMAINS. NO CHANGING!" I shouted at him. _How the hell did he know about Bella, and what the fuck was he thinking of changing her for?_

He frowned. "Please Jacob; you thought it yourself if only there was a way to save her... this will save her!" I couldn't stop my thoughts around him, I gave up trying. The look on Cullen's face when he saw mine and Bella's past was enough to make me laugh. Jealous much?

"I also said so she can continue to live. Not walk around ice cold and feed of animals or humans. My word remains, the treaty will not be amended. You go near Bella and I WILL rip you into that many pieces your family will spend plenty of time sorting out your jigsaw puzzle excuse for a being. Now go. I no longer wish to see you, hear from or of you again."

And with that I turned and ran to the reservation. I ran straight past Claire.

"Honey what are you doing? Come lie down for a bit babe, ill sure calm that wolf inside of you." She winked. Any other time I would have totally thrown myself on that couch. But I was repulsed. All that was on my mind was Bella. What on earth? I turned down love from my imprint for a short phone call with Bella...was I managing to ignore the imprint? No surely... I would have to consult with the elders. I picked up the phone and dialled. She didn't answer so I left a message.

"Bella, Its Jake. Please ring me back as soon as possible, it's urgent! Bella...I..I Love you, I love YOU!" and I put the phone down. Emphasising on the word you. I turned around to see Claire, her face full of rage.

"Jake? What the hell! You love that little skank? You asshole! All those times you said you loved me, and you go running back to that waster! What about the imprint hmm? Course you can't ignore your imprint what the hell am I saying..." she started to doubt what she was saying as she continued to rant I looked to the mantel piece, a family portrait caught my eye, of me Bella and Masen. We all looked so happy. That's because we were. With Claire, everything was rushed, stressful, and even forced. Imprints should not be like this. I was completely zoned out of the conversation with Claire. "..Jake are you even listening to me? I asked you are you on something, because this aint right!" She looked confused, and more pissed off. No sign of love came from her at all. Not even a sparkle in her eye.

" I'm sorry.." I began before she cut me off, like usual. "Yes Jake I know you should be. Now come give Claire some love" She interrupted me and started tracing her hands over my chest and around my shoulders. I quickly pulled her hands away and stepped back. "No, I mean I am sorry I am doing this. I am leaving." I went to pack a bag. I threw a few t-shirts and jeans in a bag, got my wallet and keys and stormed back to the front door, Claire clumsily following. I turned around only to whisper "don't call. Don't follow. Bye Claire"

And with that I walked out the front door and into the rabbit.. Only looking forward, not looking back once. Looking forward to where I was heading. I was going to see Bella and MY son, and boy was I going to beg to be taken back.

**_PLEASE REVIEW FOR ME. I LOVE WRITING THESE STORIES FOR EVERYONE TO READ, HOWEVER IF NO ONE LIKES THEM OR LETS ME KNOW THEY LIKE IT, IM NOT SURE WHETHER I SHOULD CARRY ON :(_**

**_LOVE LC.x_**


	8. Supermett!

**Emmett's POV**

"Hey Bells..." I replied. Bella looked purely shocked to see me stood at the doorway of her home. I took in the features of the woman stood in front of me. Bella was now 28, but she looked no older than 23. Her brunette locks flowed effortlessly over her shoulders, her fringe pulled by roughly over her head. Her eyes were bordered with faint purple circles, her skin so pale it could pass for a vampire. Her fragile little lips turned a darker shade of pink, as she bit her lower lip, typical Bella. She looked Ill. But there was no doubt how beautiful she was.

"Emmett, What, How, Why..." She stuttered. Oh no, she looked unhappy. Why did I run off to see her for.

"Bella, I found the letters. I can't believe you would place the trust of Masen's upbringing with me and Rosalie." I looked into her eyes as I spoke, they were still as vibrant and full of wonder as they were the first time I met her. I moved closer to Bella realising the large gap. She shuddered. I immediately took a step back.

"No No! Please don't go Emmett you have just got here!" she exclaimed. One small tear ran down her plump cheek.

"I'm not leaving Bella, but you didn't seem comfortable being near me-"

"No, I'm just cold, side effects and all, Sudden changes in temperature. You want to come inside?" She interrupted me. I smiled.

"Sure Bells." I walked past her and into the landing. I followed her directions up the stairs and walked through Bella's bedroom door and sat on her bed. I patted next to me as she followed and sat by.

"Bella I just want to apologise-"

"No Emmett please don't, I just want to say how much I have missed you. Missed your smile missed your bear hugs, missed being around you and the family. Don't put a negative on this please, I'm happy you came to see me. Even if it was unsuspected." She again interrupted me. I couldn't help but smile, I could feel the smile curving up towards my eyes and with that I grabbed her and pulled her into me and wrapped my arms gently around her delicate body.

"Bella I have missed you so much. It has pained me not to be able to visit, to have to leave you. Every day I have thought of you, the family has not been the same since..." I trailed off, figuring it may hurt if I mentioned the incident or Edward himself. "...I'm so happy you don't hate me." I let go of her, suspecting she may need extra room to breathe and relax. I took her hand and placed it in mine. It had been too long since I had seen Bella, I wanted to be close as possible. God I have missed my favourite little human. I smiled again. _Why it is now I am here with Bella am I managing to smile? Damn if I knew a visit to Bella would stop the heartache I would have never stayed away_.

She looked up at me, a smile creeping up on her face.

"Emmett, I do not wish to talk about what happened, when he left...what happened afterwards. I'm guessing you already know how I got Masen in my life?" She looked down and returned her gaze to my face again. I shook my head. I didn't wait around to read his letter, I was set on seeing Bella and I wasn't going to give him an opportunity to attempt to stop me again.

"Well...I was raped Em. After a party I was out of my face, I can't remember who's party it was I was so shit faced. I drank to drown the pain. Seemed it got me into a worse pain. But from it all I have a handsome loving amazing son." She was fighting back tears by the end, but I knew they were happy tears as she smiled whilst talking about Masen. _What the hell Bella was raped? Man I am going to kill that son of a bitch who did this to my Bella Bear...Wait My Bella Bear..No Emmett stop thinking say something your freaking the poor girl out_

"Bella, you may wish to change the names on the guardianship-"

"What? I knew it, how could I be so stupid, course none of you would want anything to do with me how stupid could I be!" she shouted, not at me but to herself. I grabbed her shoulders gently, trying not to hurt her.

"Bella look at me, look at me Bella Please" Moments later she lifted her gaze, tears flowing down her cheeks staining her shirt.

"We all love you; we always have and always will. Maybe I went the wrong way about how I told you. It's just that me and Rose aren't together no more so you might of wanted a couple to raise Masen, such as Esme and Carlisle" I grimaced, at the thought of Rosalie, she would go ape if she knew I was saying this. Ruining her chances for a child to look after. But this was not about her. It was what is best for Masen.

"You...You and Rose broke up?" She stuttered. I understood her confusion, when Bella came round our house in forks me and rose were inseparable. But Rose never understood me, she never listened, so pre occupied with herself she even forgot I lived at the house once. And the tip of the iceberg, she was happy when Bella died; she thought Bella's 'death' would stop me moping about the house depressed. How wrong was she, I had to leave, I lived in England for a whole year on my own, wrapped up in the self guilt that wasn't even mine. I loved Rosalie, just not enough. We always knew we were not mates, but we tried so hard to make it so. I believe we were just relying upon each other for happiness. Happiness that I never gained.

"To cut a long story short Bells, Me and Rosalie were never destined to be together for eternity. We were never truly mates, yes I loved her, and she loved me. Just not as much as she loved herself" A small growl came out as I said them last words. To even think them made me angry. To say them out loud sent me mad.

"Oh...Emmy Bear I'm really sorry..." And she pulled herself onto my lap and hugged me with all her strength. I laughed wrapping my arms around her.

"You were never one for self preservation were you Bella, I mean sitting on a vampires lap when he is truly angry. what's up with that?" I joked.

"ha-ha, funny Emmett. I know you will never hurt me. And you needed protecting, from the hurt,. I could see it forming in your eyes." She smiled and ruffled my hair.

"Hey human that's my job!" I huffed as I playfully attacked her ruffling her hair and tickling her pinning her to the bed. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she was creased up with laughter. "Em..Em Em Emmett Cullen Seriously Stop it" She managed to squeal out as I stopped tickling her. I sensed another human in the doorway. I didn't turn around, my gaze and smile fixed on Bella as she wiped the tears from her cheeks still trying to catch her breath.

"Mommy, are you okay what's gone on?" The other human spoke.

"Masen sweetie this is my close friend, we are play fighting don't worry sweetie. She returned her gaze to mine. I turned around to see Masen. Toy story pyjamas and a make shift cape was tied around his neck, with a small smile on his face he looked at me. His eyes lit up and beamed his smile, bearing his teeth with 2 missing.

"SUPERMETT! IT'S REALLY YOU!" He shouted, and ran over, stopping in front of me. I picked him up and spun him round at human speed, causing his cape to flow out behind him. I put him down on the bed next to Bella before he got too dizzy.

"Wow Supermett that was soooooo cool. Mommy you see that? I was flying!" by this point he was jumping up and down on the bed Bella was giggling as Masen attacked her with pillows and hugs. She looked up at me, her eyes sparkled with something familiar, yet I could not figure it out.

"I err, I need to eat" I raised my eyebrows and Bella nodded, fully understanding my need to hunt. "Come back wont you Emmy Bear?" Emmy bear? She still remembered that name? I laughed, and hugged her. "Of course Bella, now go sleep you look shattered. And you Supermase." His little eyes lit up once more. "You can be my robin to batman. My right hand man, what you say kid?" I asked him. He stood up on the bed so he could reach my high five. "Dude you are tall. I'm in!" he ran off out the room, his cape flowing behind. _That Kid sure is fun._

And with that Bella was already asleep on the bed, her breathing decreasing into a shallow breath, her beautiful heartbeat stuttered lowly, she sighed in her sleep, I stayed for half hour, checking to see if she was ok. "Come back..." She muttered. I didn't act upon it, thinking it would be about Edward. My asshole of a brother. "Come back Jacob Masen misses you" I understood that. _why am I so jealous of this Jacob?_ "Come back ..." I was nervous, was she going to say Edward? _Edward Doesn't deserve Bella _"Emmett." She sighed falling into a deeper sleep. If my undead heart could beat, it would no doubt of jumped out of my ribcage. The way she was so complacent saying my name in her sleep, and the smile followed shortly afterwards gave me hope. _Hope for what Emmett what the hell?_ It was then, whilst she slept that I realised, _I'm in love with Bella Swan_. The thought swirled round my mind, nothing else invaded it, for the next 10 hours whilst Bella Slept and I hunted. _I'm in love with Bella Swan... __I'm in love with Bella Swan... __I'm in love with Bella Swan...Damnn, __I'm in freakin' love with Bella Swan! Edward Is Going To Rip Me To Pieces... _


	9. You care?

Bella's POV

I slept peacefully that night. Sure I had the nightmares about Jacob leaving Masen and I. Edward was nowhere to be seen in any of my dreams. For the first time in ages I felt whole. I cannot remember exactly what I dreamt about, all I know was I dreamt of owning a little cottage in England, in the garden Esme was gardening, Carlisle was painting on an easel and Masen was playing chase with Alice, and Emmett suddenly ran away from the home. It was a rather strange dream, but I was content.

The Sun shone through the spaces between the blinds, and I sat upright, unsure on whether last night was just entirely a dream. "Good Morning sleepy!" Emmett bellowed, as he sat down on the edge of my bed. "So last night wasn't a dream?" I questioned. He laughed, his cute dimples appearing in his cheeks. "No Bells, I'm really here. You want to do something today? Anything at all. just for you. Libby is taking the kids to the zoo so Masen is taken care of, unless you want to go with them I understand, god Emmett stupid or what..." He carried on mumbling away, I got out of bed and hugged his shoulders. I don't know why, I just acted on instinct. "Oh sorry, Emmett I don't know why I did that" He turned round and sat me in his lap, I snuggled into his large shoulder, his arms engulfing me in muscles, sexy muscles... _Get a grip Bella seriously_ "Bells Don't apologise for hugging me, you of all people should know I love a bear hug" I laughed and climbed out of his arms and over to my bathroom and closet. "Umm, human moment." I explained to Emmett who simply nodded. I splashed my face with water, and boy I looked rough! I decided to style my hair straight with a few loose curls, and applied minimal make up. I threw on some skinny jeans and my brown leather high heeled boots. I was no longer clumsy, something I was seriously thankful for. I reached for a matching brown leather belt and a plain white vest top. I sighed as I looked at my reflexion, sure I wasn't ugly, but compared to the people I was hoping to visit today; I definitely didn't reach the mark.

I returned to my room and grabbed my handbag, and turned to Emmett. "Does this look okay?" He looked down, his expression I couldn't make out. "Bells, you look amazing, If I do say so." I smiled. "So Em, I was, erm, wondering, is it possible to go see Esme and Carlisle? I would love to see them before..." I couldn't bring myself to end the sentence, and by the look on Emmett's face he seemed grateful I didn't finish it either. His phone rang.

"Hello? Yes I am with Bella.

What are you talking about?

We will talk when we get home.

Yes we. Bella and me.

Bella wants to see Esme and Carlisle.

God Sake Alice, Chill! I will ask her now"

He put his hand over the receiver and turned to me "Bells, Alice wants to know why you want to see Esme and Carlisle and none of the others" He sighed as he knew that this would be difficult for me. He was quite wrong.

"Sure I will see everyone, I wasn't sure if they wanted to see me that's all" I replied, whilst applying some extra eye liner and mascara, and sprit zing myself with perfume.

Emmett continued his phone conversation.

"Yes she will see everyone, no doubt you heard her say so anyways.

Erm, I didn't think about that, I will ask Bella if she has a car.

See you in half hour. Yes Alice seriously. But don't tell, you know, him.

Because Alice I don't think Bella is ready just yet.

I can't believe you say that Alice, I have always cared

Oh great so mind reader already knows

Shut the hell up now pixie. And yes tell Rose I will sign when I get home.

Okay calm down sis, love you. Bye"

I shot Emmett a questioning look. "Why do you need to know if i have a car?" He laughed, and put his phone away. "I kind of ran here, as soon as I read your letter"

I was shocked. "Oh, wow Emmett. Really" I didn't know what to say to that. _Thanks you care so much? No that would sound lame._

"Yeah I have a car, ready to go?" I said as we walked outside towards my car. Emmett laughed. "What, were you expecting, the truck?" I laughed, as I went towards to driver's side, when Emmett manoeuvred me towards the passenger side. "Not really, I don't know. I guess I didn't expect to see an Audi TT, bells you truly are a changed woman." We slipped into the car and began our journey. I quickly texted Quill, who stayed nearby for my safety and explained where I would be. We sang along to cheesy songs on the radio, and talked about what we have both been up to, and what car he had now.

"We are here" He said, as he cautiously looked at me, my heart started racing. Was I really going to do this, go back after all this time? "Bells calm that precious heart of yours okay, I am here for you I will protect you, no need to be scared." "Emmett, seriously, I am not scared of attacks or anything like that. I am scared of rejection, again." He opened my door for me, and I looked up at a beautiful Victorian home, it sure was a Cullen property. It was HUGE, I half heartedly expected for them to be waiting on the doorstep, as they would be able to sense my presence, but no one was there. As if Emmett read my mind he put his arm around my waist and suggested to go inside. "They are waiting indoors, they didn't want to put too much pressure on you know." I nodded, my throat was dry, and i was seriously petrified of what would be said.

I walked into the home, and true to Emmett's word there sat Esme and Carlisle, on a loveseat facing towards us, Alice and Jasper stood by the fireplace, Rosalie looking in the mirror, and Edward, sat on the staircase, looking out the huge window next him. it was all too much, darkness crept up on me, i could faintly hear Emmett's voice, and feel his strong arms hold me up. Then it all went dark.


	10. Mental arguement

**Edwards POV**

I saw in a vision of Emmett deciding to go see Bella through Alice's mind. I couldn't look; I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. Fear ripped through me at the thought of seeing Bella again, fear of rejection. Jasper sent me a hateful look as he continued to follow me as we hunted.

_You are unbelievable Edward. Fear, rejection, self preservation? All these emotions are cold, you have just heard the love of your life is alive, maybe not alive and well but Bella is here, she is living. And what are you doing? Wallowing in self pity? Waiting for everyone else to do your dirty work? I don't know who you are, this is not the Edward I grown to respect as my brother._

And with that Jasper darted off in the opposite direction. I wanted to argue with him, that it wasn't self pity, and self preservation, I want to preserve Bella's happiness, she will not be happy if her life gets turned upside down all over again. I know Bella better than anyone. I wanted to see Bella; I wanted to apologise and tell her how much I love her, plead with her to change to what I am and live for eternity, for us all to be a family. Bella Masen and myself. This is where the rejection kicked in, she had moved on. She loved Jacob, it was clear to see in his thoughts the previous day of the relationship they shared. As if it wasn't coincidental enough that I was pondering over Jacob and his thoughts, his actual thoughts began to stream into my head.

_What the hell am I doing, I need to go back to Claire, I love her so much. But I need to see Bella. I need to see Masen. God I can't even justify this to myself how am I going to explain this to everyone else. I should just man up seriously I am alpha, I don't answer to anybody. Oh great I smell bloodsucker, depressed vampire._

He was driving along the main road that cut through the forest in which I was hunting. He was mentally arguing with himself, and whether he should pull over. I guess he chose to pull over, as his small car skidded across the dirt sideway arriving next to me.

"Jacob" I gestured, as he got out of the car.

"Edward" he replied with a slight nod.

"how are you?" I tried to make him feel less intimidated. I could hear his thoughts and he did not trust me whilst in his human form.

"Yeah yeah Cullen, right I have to see Bella. Seeming as she has contacted you I can only assume one of your, family, is with her now?" he struggled to adhere us as a family, but I respected his civil manner.

"Actually my sibling has gone to visit Bella, we did not get chance to talk as a family on how to react to the contact from Bella. Emmett has always been a live wire, very energetic and his thoughts for the past ten years has been 90% Bella, 10% everything else. They had a very close relationship, they truly were good friends. Maybe that is a good thing for Emmett to go to see her. He broke a window whilst leaving the house on his way to see her. I can only presume that one of your pack is situated with Bella or near by? As her future is blank to Alice and after Emmett decided to visit his future disappeared also." I tried hard to make it clear to Jacob that Emmett acted on a whim and that we didn't send him to looked clearly bored by my long reply.

"Yes, a member of the pack has permanent residence near Bella; he chose to move there she doesn't want him to stay for her sake. Hmm I see good thing for him to go see Bella? Seems he is the only one that genuinely wants to see her out of your little clan." he jeered.

_If you truly loved her Cullen, you would be the one running to see her. You would be the one breaking windows and doing whatever it takes. _

"I am not irresponsible unlike Emmett, and there would always be the chance that Bella would not want to see me again."

"Oh, so a slight chance and you back out. You are scared of rejection? Seriously? You make me laugh, that is pathetic. You shouldn't care about what would happen to you, you won't know until you go." He scoffed.

"Well actually, I believe we are having a family meeting, and seeming as you are part of Bella's family, and Bella is family to us, you are welcome to join." I began to tell Jacob that Carlisle would be there when he interrupted me.

"Bella is not your family. You decided that fate when you left her broken in forks them ten years ago,.."

"Please Jacob, this is not the right time, we need to talk about Bella and her ill health, I know deep down you will do anything to save her. Please come with us," I pleaded. With Jacob on our side of thinking we had a better chance of persuading Bella.

"Okay, but I aint sure if I can handle all of your stinks. Jeez." He pulled a face.

I smiled, relieved that he finally agreed to talk with us. Jacob got back into his car, rolled all his windows down and motioned for me to join him in the passenger. I gave him a questioning look.

"You all may smell but I would rather not trace your scent back to your dungeon layer Dracula, tell me the way." He joked.

"Yeah sure no problem Fido" I laughed as we travelled back to the house. Both of us silent, unsure on how this will all work out.


	11. Bella's Return

Rosalie's POV

The hours passed away like seconds, as I held the photograph of Bella and Masen in my hand. He was so beautiful, he was perfect. Envy ripped through me, but I reminded myself, this is what you fought for, this is what you wanted, for Bella to have a chance of motherhood. Emmett didn't return, and his future disappeared in Alice's visions about half an hour after he suddenly left the house. Edward shortly left afterwards, only to return with a stinking dog, known as Jacob. I recognised him, even though he had matured and was now part of the pack, I could still see the young long haired boy who used to chase after Bella them ten years ago in Forks. Alice had a vision this morning that Emmett would be returning back, and then after speaking with him, was informed Bella would be joining him.

Emmett always had a caring side for her, yet I didn't understand why he reacted the way he did, and why wasn't Edward the one playing the hero. My mind was full of questions, which Edward sure was getting sick of hearing. Not because he didn't care, it was clear to see he was impatient for Bella to come home, it is just no one had the answers. Edward walked into my room; I quickly hid the photograph and smiled sympathetically to him.

"They will be here in five minutes. Meet you downstairs." And with that he turned on his heel and headed towards his bedroom. Short and precise as always, Edward wasn't one for conversation much since Forks. It pained me to see him like this. Even though it was entirely his fault for introducing Bella to this so called 'life' I still understood what it was like to suffer such loss. At least with Emmett we still remained, husband and wife according to fake legal paperwork, our marriage dissolved into nothing, we are still friends, which I am grateful for. It gives me hope that one day; we will be back to normal.

It was time to go downstairs and wait for Bella and Emmett to arrive. I took my place in front of the mantel and checked my reflexion in the mirror; I had to make sure I looked amazing for Emmett.

Carlisle's POV

Bella looked white; if it wasn't for her stuttering heartbeat and her intoxicating scent I could have thought she was one of us. She was beautiful like always, now mature yet she looked so young, even though her ill health was clear to see.

Bella looked around the room, obviously summing up who was here and who was not, and her gaze stopped at the staircase. I followed her gaze to see Edward staring out the window, when I heard Emmett shout after Bella, then myself.

"Bella!" Emmett had caught her luckily enough; Esme had run to collect medical supplies just in case, while Alice ran to the kitchen for a glass of water. Rosalie excused herself as well, still emotional from the previous day's events.

"Carlisle! What are you doing standing there, do something!" Emmett shouted at me whilst cradling Bella and silently sobbing to himself.

"My apologies son i guess i was bewildered by Bella's return" and with that I rushed to her. to my right side rushed jasper, and in came Jacob Black who appeared on my left.

Alice

I didn't see this happening, I ran to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water for when Bella regained consciousness. I was still kicking myself about my lack of visions lately. I didn't see Bella surviving, I didn't see Masen. I didn't see her relationship with Jacob, but that is because of his freaky wolf thing. Her future was blank, however my families future was clear, and she appeared in my visions. I couldn't get my head around it. We rested Bella on the large corner sofa in the snug, and eagerly awaited her awakening. We decided that it was too much of a shock to Bella, seeing us all stood there, and quite intimidating. Therefore I stayed with Bella along with Carlisle and Emmett. The rest of my family waited in the lounge, and Jacob went for a run, for 'fresh non bloodsucker air' and the fact he was blocking my visions. To say Bella looked beautiful would be an understatement, she was now late twenties yet she looked like a 20 year old, 23 at a push. I smiled as I reminisced all the times I shared with Bella in forks, how she hated fashion beauty and anything shopping related. Now looking at her, I was impressed to say the least. I half considered taking her shoes off and trying them on myself, I heard Edward chuckle at the thought. I was about to speak to him through thoughts when a vision merged into my mind...

_It was a bright summer's day. A car emerged on the driveway, and out stepped Bella from the drivers side, and a young boy from the other. He had bronze hair, beautifully pale skin, and striking brown eyes. Bella continued towards the house while the young boy followed. _

"_Mum, what if they don't like me? Is my new dad going to be here" He questioned her, as she stopped before the door. She bent down and gave him a hug and whispered in his ear._

"_Of course they will son, and I don't know sweetheart, your old mum is going to have to see if he wants me first." She laughed, while standing back up._

"_He smiled and pressed the doorbell. A tall man, pale skin, dark hair, small smile and stocky figure answered, looking Bella in the eye, I saw two circles of red beneath his eyelids...a human drinker. He hugged Bella and picked up Masen, and the three of them entered the house..._

Holy crap, I hope Edward didn't see that vision, I peered out into the living room, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Jasper clocked on to my curiosity when I noticed it was only him there.

"Edward went for a quick hunt; he is readjusting to Bella's scent. Esme has gone to the store for Bella some food, and Rosalie went to the mall. Surely you of all people should know" He joked, and then returned to reading his book. Carlisle passed me in the doorway; his future consisted of a small talk with Edward and a brief hunt. I wished him good luck, and to come back in 10 minutes. Bella was going to wake up in no more than 2 minutes, this gave me a perfect opportunity to ask Emmett some much needed questions, like why the hell in his future, are his eyes red...


	12. Pain

**_Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. If I did, Edward would be with me.. ;)_**

Bella's POV

Pain. That's all I felt. Pure pain. Yet I wasn't hurt, I had no injuries...

The pain of seeing him again...I couldn't do it. That was when the room closed in on me, and then...

Darkness came.

Pain.

Edward's POV

I heard her heartbeat pounding before she even walked through the door, erratic and loud, like a siren telling me she was here.

Then I smelt her intoxicating scent wander through the room, I held my breath; afraid of my reaction. I gradually inhaled,

I guiltily let her aroma tease me and torture. I heard shouting, but nothing was registering in my mind, I continued to Longley stare out the window, too afraid to see my Bella.

_Edward you jackass, Bella has passed out. __Are you there...earth to edward! _Alice mentally screamed at me as

She relayed in her mind the incident that just happened moments ago. Yet all I could think about was her scent.

I had to get out the house. Bella was rushed to the snug. I kept thinking about her scent, how delicious her blood would taste; the warmth it would create as it swept around my mouth. I was guilty thinking these thoughts, but heck I was thirsty. Jasper clocked onto my emotions, and semi threatened me into leaving to hunt.

This was going to be more difficult than I thought.

Emmett POV

God My mind was wracked with worry. Bella just fell to the ground, I caught her, yet I'm worried sick of her. I didn't need to be a doctor to know her health was bad, her heartbeat changed from a melody to a dramatic slow beating, as if it was struggling to keep going. It haunted me. 1 minute had passed and Alice had told me she would be awake in another minute. She also looked very angry at me, what had I done?

It was a good thing Edward left, Jasper told me he caught vibes of serious thirst...I wonder why. If he even dared trying to get my Bella I will rip him to shreds and feed him to a rippling fire. Hang on; did I just say my Bella? Well I am in love with her, but she's not mine. How I longed for her to be though. Before I could think any more Alice slammed me up against the wall, she pulled up a chair and stood on it so our eyes were level. She looked mad, like, real mad.

Alice POV

Bella was still a minute away from recovering; I took this as my perfect opportunity to ask Emmett what the hell he was planning. I slammed him up against the wall, but he is such an oaf big giant type dude I had to stand on a chair. It didn't make it half as dramatic as I had wished.

"Emmett john McCarthy, care to explain, hmm?" I whispered to him, afraid the others would hear the conversation.

"Alice you little pixie freak what's the deal huh? I don't know what you're on about!" He replied, looking genuinely confused.

"I had a vision" I said bluntly, as if I had to remind him.

"Well done little sis, but I'm not the fricking mind reader in this house am I, I need details I need to know what you saw, I'm clueless here help a bro out!"

"Well, I, err,,, I saw you..." my words came out stuttered from lack of concentration as my mind formed into another vision.

_She laid her son in the bedroom, and read him a bed time story. He eventually drifted off to sleep, and she stood up from the sofa and left the room to find a landing and hallway to be covered in rose petals...a large smile embraced in between her delicate cheeks. She got up stretched and followed the trail to the bath room, she timidly opened the door, the room was alight just by gentle candle light, rose petals filled the floor, it was impossible to see the tile floor, a bottle of champagne and a dish of strawberry's rested to the side of the large Jacuzzi bath tub, which had a mountain of bubbles floating in it on top of the water..._

"Alice?" Emmett had a look of deep confused and worry on his face.

"Sorry Em, I had another vision" I couldn't fathom out what the one I just had, did I just see Bella's future clearly for once? More importantly, what's the deal? I wonder if she has a man in her life she's keeping secret, or if she was planning on having one in her future...The two visions clicked in my mind, they made sense. Bella and Emmett. Oh My GOD! I best keep quiet, they weren't a complete match, Emmett didn't show in the second vision, it was just me hoping it would be him.

"Pixie I ain't got all day Bella will be awake any second now" Emmett was frustrated by my pro longed silence.

"Sorry Bro, I'll keep it short and sweet, I hope all works well, and it would be like, perfect!" I squealed, and I ran off to indulge my secret to Jasper, as I knew he could maintain it, leaving Emmett alone with Bella.

**A/N : Ok so i know it's a tad on the short side, i really just wanted to update on here, i hope you guys haven't gave up on my fan fic, I'm alot more organised with folders and stuff on my computer (for once) so will be sitting down and writing the next chapter on Sunday (as there is naff all else to do, so works out perfectly :D ) **

**Also if you have time check out my other fan fic, its A Bella & Anonymous story, similar where edward leaves in New Moon, however when the Cullen's return they don't return to the Bella who they left behind. Please read it's very exciting to write it :) and feel free to review please thankyou muchly :P**

**Laura xoxo**


	13. Permission

_Disclaimer...Stephanie Meyer's owns all of twilight. Isn't she lucky?_

**Jacob's POV**

Seeing my once love like that; literally lifeless passed out on the sofa, made my heart ache. I couldn't even face her when she arrived. I felt ashamed. It was true, she was ill. Ill beyond my mind had imagined. I kept running; running from the Cullen's, running from reality, running from Bella. If I hadn't of imprinted, Bella wouldn't be so ill. She wouldn't have left Forks; she wouldn't have let herself get run down. She could have seen the changes and seen a doctor as soon as. But no, I made her welcome pain, after all that happened. She once told me she would "rather be in pain, at least then I will feel something..."

I rested against a large boulder, yet my mind wouldn't let me rest. I smelt a Cullen; I instantly recognised it was Edward. He came to stop in front of me, a look of pain strewn across his pale ice face.

"I don't need on empathy here to explain you're hurting Jacob" He sat beside me. I sat and hid my thoughts for a while; but I knew I needed someone to talk to, and Edward could help. Possibly.

"I just don't know what to say or do. She is dying, and I can't do anything to help...I just want her to be Bella. No pain, no hurt...The way she deserves to li..live." I stuttered as I finished speaking. I knew in the back of my mind her 'life' will end soon. Whether it was of natural causes, or to save her.

Edward shuffled but remained seated. Obviously he could hear my inner monologue. I looked to him, I was defeated. He knew this.

"Jacob. Your permission alone would help Bella. We will all look after Bella; through the change, through the new born years. Through forever. She belongs in the Cullen family; you can't disagree. I heard you think it earlier..." Edward was once again asking me to grant permission to change her. To bend the treaty rules. I sighed, Defeated.

"Okay, you have permission. I will take Masen with me until Bella gains control of her blood lust..." I spat the word blood out in disgust.

"Only if she agrees to this. If you do this against her will, us wolves will have no choice but to end you all" I stuck my hand out, I grimaced when his cold hand shook mine.

"Deal" Edward nodded and let go. He stood up and stood waiting. Oh, he wanted to approach Bella together. Wise move. He smiled at my thoughts.

"Now, shall we return to talk to the lucky lady?" I joked, sarcastic as I ever am.

"Race you" Edward let out a sneaky laugh and smiled crookedly. This dude has changed, for some reason I am beginning to not hate him.

"Cheers dog" He laughed again and I smiled. Maybe being friendly with the blood suckers will be okay after all. We all have one thing we are working towards, and that is Bella.

"Shouldn't you be stretching or something? Wouldn't want you to pull a muscle" I teased as he shook his head smiling. I transformed into my inner wolf, getting ready to beat this bloodsucker's ass back to the house.

"Stupid doggy, I can still hear you!" He laughed and tapped his head. Damn Vampire. And with that we began chase.

**AN/: Hey Guys, Sorry if I have been a bit lame lately with updates, or the lack of them! lol. (I know this is short but I wanted it to remain as one chapter) I am a lot more focussed now :) I would just like to say thank you for carrying on reading and favouriting "It is now or never" I appreciate it greatly :) Please please please review,as it is the only feedback i get on how you guys are finding the story. Also if you have any ideas or requests private mail me and I will see what I can do. I htink it would be nice if you did :) so please review, if it is any good :/ thanks :D LC.x**


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